Clayton's the Good, the Bad, and the Eh... of 2013

Hey guys, Clayton here and after a brief hiatus due to work, graduation and stuff, it's now time to do the annual best and worst movies of 2013. And just a heads up for everyone, I didn't see every movie this year, so some movies like "42", "Captain Philips", "12 Years a Slave", and even "the Hunger Games: Catching Fire" will not be on the list.Also, these movies are all OPINION BASED, if you don't like what I put on the good, bad or eh..., that's fine, more power to you, but keep in mind, this is just my opinion.  So with that said, let's start with the good. 

The Good:

#17. Kick-Ass 2

As a fan of the first "Kick-Ass", I honestly can't say whether this is better, on par or not as good as the original. While there are some moments where it can get too dark, harsh and mean-spirited, I still think the movie is alot of fun. I like the development they give to Hit Girl and I do like the problems that her and Kick-Ass come across. While it maybe too harsh, it's still a violent fun movie.


#16. Oz: the Great and Powerful

This prequel to the L. Frank Baum's classic books directed by "Spider-Man"'s Sam Raimi takes the audience back to our childhoods by recreating the feel and style of the classic movie. James Franco is pretty decent as Oz, Joey King is really good as the China Girl and I did enjoy the development given to Theodora, the Wicked Witch of the West showing how she became the villain we all know. It may not be the best prequel, but hey, at least it's better than "the Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.... *shudder*

#15. the Heat

For a buddy-cop movie, I will say it may not be as hilarious as "Hot Fuzz", but it's pretty close. Some jokes hit and some miss, but the performances from Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy are both really hilarious.

#14. Evil Dead

Of all the horror remakes that came out, this one is the best since Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead". While some complain that most of the characters, except for Mia, are forgettable and bland, well, in the original, most of the cast, except for Bruce Campbell's Ash, are the same way. And most complain that it doesn't have the humor that made "Evil Dead" work, for me, it's trying to recapture what Sam Raimi had intended for the original, to be, as the poster says, "the most terrifying film you will ever experience", and boy, does it deliver. This movie is pretty damn frightening and what makes it work is the impressive camera work and practical effects, no CG. But as scary as this movie is, #13 is actually the scariest movie of the year....

#13. the Conjuring

James Wan, to me, has now became this generation's Wes Craven, he has created a movie that even surpassed his previous movie, "Insidious", as the scariest movie I have ever seen in my life, and that's due to the creepy tone, feeling like a '70's horror movie ala "Exorcist". The acting is pretty good, the scares are legitimate nightmare fuel, the music helps out as well, and the scary thing is about it, is that all of this is based on the true case files of Ed and Lorraine Warren. I'm not kidding, look it up, even the real Lorraine Warren and Anna Peron say the movie is faithful to what happened. It's so scary, it had to be true.

#12. the Wolverine

Everyone's favorite X-Men member is back with a vengeance. This movie blows the abysmal "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" out of the water with some coherent action scenes, some good character development and some build up to the upcoming "X-Men: Days of Future Past". So, if you're looking for a pretty fun comic book movie, this is for you.

#11. This Is The End/ We're the Millers/ Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

I decided to put these three together because it was hard to decide which was the funniest of the three.

"This Is The End" takes a concept of the apocalypse predicted in Revelation and not only take a dark comedic turn but taking it as seriously as it should. The actors do a pretty good job making fun of themselves, some jokes hit and some miss, and this movie has quite possibly one of the best endings to any movie this year. If you enjoy cinematic meta humor, you'll enjoy it.

"We're the Millers", to me, is like the Robin Williams movie, "RV", but actually pretty good and really hilarious. Jason Sudiekis is really funny in his dialogue and delivery, the kid who was Eustace in  "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" was the most hilarious of them all, and Jennifer Aniston is pretty good in her role, and actually, she's kinda hot, same with Emma Roberts. Ed Helms plays the perfect asshole aside from his role as Stu in "the Hangover".

"Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa" is a good addition to the Jackass legacy as it is a really hilarious hidden camera movie. What's really funny is that this all takes place in real time and most people are confused about what happens and their reactions are pretty hilarious. The makeup effects on Johnny Knoxville are pretty convincing to show him as an old man, the kid he's with is really funny and it has alot of heart to it. But overall, these three movies are worth a look for a good laugh.

#10. Man of Steel

Producer Christopher Nolan and director Zack Snyder bring their take on an American icon in a sort of new way. While it does suffer from some problems such as shoddy camerawork, the way they tell his origin out of order, and an overblown ending, I still think of this as a pretty good movie, even if some think otherwise. Henry Cavill, I think plays a convincing Superman, Amy Adams is a pretty good Lois Lane, but gets a little bland near the middle of the movie, and Zod, I prefer Terrance Stamp over Michael Shannon, honestly, he was more like Willem Dafoe when he played Green Goblin in "Spider-Man". But for those who think otherwise, I can see where you guys are coming from and I understand why some will hate the movie (and don't get me started on Confused Matthew's review....). Love or hate, let's see if Superman vs. Batman will improve or not on the new take on the Man of Steel.

#9. World War Z

Even though I haven't read the book this was based on, this movie makes me want to. This movie is really intense, really action packed, and at points, pretty scary. Brad Pitt pulls of a pretty good performance and is really likeable as guy who will risk everything to find a cure and get back to his family. The zombies are the most frightening I have seen since "28 Days Later" as if one person gets bitten and they quickly turn into infected zombies. If you're looking for a really intense ride, this and #1 will be worth a look.


#8. the Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug

The adventure continues for Bilbo Baggins as this one happens to be a major improvement over "An Unexpected Journey" as this one has a much more going on, and while some parts are slow, it's what many expect from the first Hobbit. Smaug proves to be one of the most badass memorable villains of the year, the rest of the characters are still as likeable and badass, and yes, the movie ends on a cliffhanger. Well, let's wait for that finale next year...

#7. Monsters University/ Despicable Me 2

Both of these animated films, much like #11, are hard to choose, because both are pretty good.

"Monsters University" is Pixar's comeback after the terrible reception of "Cars 2" and the so-so reception of "Brave". The animation, as always, is excellent, the characters from the original "Monsters Inc." are still as likeable as they were, and the new characters are fun. My main problem with the movie is that the story is a little unoriginal and I will admit, the ending is a little depressing, but ends on a happy note.

"Despicable Me 2" is a pretty funny and pretty cute sequel that, to me, is on par with the first movie. Gru is still as likeable and gets much more development this time around, Lucy is actually pretty funny alongside him and the Minions are still as hilarious as they were before.

#6. Iron Man 3/ Thor: the Dark World

Marvel strikes back against D.C. with a double hit with two of their most well known heroes.

"Iron Man 3", despite some problems, is a really fun sequel, with one of Marvel's best stories since the first Iron Man. Tony Stark gets some major development after the events of "the Avengers" and gives him alot to go through. Some people might get pissed about the Mandarin twist, but I really didn't care, I didn't see it coming.

"Thor: the Dark World" may not have the human side of the first, but it's still a really entertaining movie. Chris Hemsworth is still a really badass Thor, Tom Hiddleston is still despicably badass as Loki and the action sequences are really fun. With these movies starting of Phase 2, I can't wait to see what Marvel has up for 2014.

#5. Pacific Rim

"Hellboy" director Guillermo del Toro brings us quite possibly the most entertaining spectacle of the year. This movie is like a cross between Transformers and Toho, and it plays a great tribute to them with some pretty badass action set pieces and amazing special effects on both the robots and the monsters. Even though it can be pretty cheesy and some characters are a little bland, but that's part of the fun. If there's ever a movie about checking your brain out the door to enjoy, I dare say it's the perfect one.

#4. Saving Mr. Banks

While there are some problems, most notably the ending, this movie is one of the best live action Disney movies out there. The story is somewhat accurate to the events during the making of "Mary Poppins", the script is really well written and emotional, and especially the acting is fantastic. Emma Thompson is great as P.L. Travers playing a likeable bitter woman, Jason Schwartzman and B.J. Novak are pretty good as the Sherman Brothers and my biggest surprise was Tom Hanks as Walter Elias Disney. He may not look or sound like him, but he still captured the charm, charisma and mannerisms of Uncle Walt himself. If you're a Disney fan or not, you'll enjoy this movie.

#3. Frozen

Disney is at it again as they deliver another great animated fairy tale reminiscent of "Tangled". The story is actually a pretty good one, involving more on the relationship of sisters, the animation is still good 3D Disney animation, the characters are really likeable and really feel the emotional weight of Elsa, and the ending is one of the saddest in Disney history. Keep up the good work, Disney, the new Renaissance is still going strong.

#2. the World's End

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are back to bring us this hilarious finale to their Cornetto trilogy, "the World's End". Much like the previous Cornetto movies ("Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz"), this movie has a great premise, some clever jokes, really likeable characters and greatly choreographed action scenes. Now some people might think that Simon Pegg's character, Gary King, is unlikeable, but he's basically the reverse role that he shares with co-star Nick Frost. Like in "Shaun of the Dead", Pegg was always the smart one who you don't mess with and Frost was kind of a screw-up, in this movie, it's the reverse. But if that doesn't bother you, then I see no reason to hate a big finale to a big trilogy.

And the #1 Best Movie of 2013 is...

Gravity

Holy crap, this is one REALLY intense movie. Sandra Bullock, I smell another Oscar nomination for you, because you really feel the emotion that she goes through as the movie is more like an experience as you get what it's like being stuck in space. You really root for her as you really want her to get back down to Earth. George Clooney is also pretty good in his role as a professional astronaut that tries to help her out of space. The special effects are really good and the scariest thing about this movie is this that if you're an astronaut, this could possibly happen out in space. A fair warning to those who see it, there are some scenes in here that could possibly cause heart attacks, I'm not saying that I don't recommend the movie, I'm just worried about your safety. But if you manage to see it, by all means, go see it, it's an experience worth watching.

Honorable Mentions:
Drew: The Man Behind the Poster
White House Down
Anchorman 2: the Legend Continues
Mama
the Last Stand
Snitch
Prisoners
Warm Bodies
the Great Gatsby

And now, here we go, we move on to the worst movies of the year. Be afraid, be VERY afraid....


The Bad:

#10. Free Birds

How do you take a really retarded concept such as time-traveling turkeys? Make it as convoluted as it sounds. While I will admit, some characters are likeable and the animation is pretty good, but the story and even the ending is so stupid that it would take all night to explain. Just wait to rent this for your kids, and maybe you'll enjoy it, maybe you won't, but I certainly didn't.

#9. Walking with Dinosaurs: the Movie

How do you possibly make a movie that makes Disney's "Dinosaur" look like "Jurassic Park" in comparison? While "Dinosaur" had good animation, the problem with that movie is that it was boring, "Walking with Dinosaurs" has good animation, but, the main problem is that it is straight up ANNOYING and the characters never SHUT UP. Why must all family films about dinosaurs have to have them talk? (NOTE: "Land Before Time" is great.) It's a good thing this movie bombed, just stick with the "Walking with Dinosaurs" mini-series.

#8. the Smurfs 2

How do you make a sequel to a 2011 cash-grab? Make an even worse sequel. The characters are either stupid, annoying, or unlikeable, the jokes are degrading and the storyline is dumbed down for kids. Also, the sad thing is, this is Jonathan Winter's last movie due to his tragic death, and now he has joined the legacy of some actors such as Raul Julia in "Street Fighter". The reason this and #9 and 10 are low is because these movies are targeted at a younger audience, but as Doug Walker said, "Just because your target audience is kids isn't an excuse not to try."

#7. The Last Exorcism Part II

I'm going to be quite honest I will make this one quite short because I haven't seen the first "Last Exorcism". But this movie is just flat out boring, uninteresting and pretty much everything we've seen in exorcism movies. It may not be as horrendous as "the Devil Inside", but it's just a bad horror movie.

#6. the Host

So, the past 5 years we saw Stephanie Meyer destroy the dignity of vampires and werewolves, now she gave aliens her personal touch. What else can I say about this movie is that it's just Twilight with aliens, but mostly, it's just as bad, or even worse than the Twilight movies.

And these movies are scratching the surface, now we move to the bottom 5....

#5. Scary Movie V

Coming from someone who has mixed feelings over the "Scary Movie" franchise, this one I can say is that this is the worst one of the series. The jokes almost fall into Seltzerburg level as some are jut juvenile or nasty, the cast is not as energetic a the previous films and I hate repeating myself, but it just wasn't funny. If some people say either the "Pirates of the Caribbean" or "Paranormal Activity" series should retire, put this series on the list, or parodies in general.

#4. 21 & Over

Geez, and people say "Project X" is bad. This movie is basically what everyone says about "Project X", and I'm the guy who liked "Project X". The jokes are nowhere near present, the characters are either dull, unlikeable and just plain mean-spirited that you wouldn't care what happens, it's offensive and the drama is just flat out terrible. I swear this movie makes "Hangover: Part III" look like, well, the first "Hangover".

#3. Movie 43

Oh, boy, another crappy comedy. I hope this year isn't full of them like last year. And this one has recently been known as one of the worst movies of all time, and boy ain't that the truth. It's a sketch comedy that is just not funny, but straight up offensive. Dealing with jokes such as racism, incest, and other things that wouldn't be funny. And many more I wish I could talk about, but Richard Roeper said it best, it is the "Citizen Kane of awful".

#2. R.I.P.D.: Rest In Piece Department

What happens when you take a concept like Men in Black and combine it with Ghostbusters? You get this piece of crap. I haven't read the comics this was based on, and after seeing this movie, I probably might not. I can describe the movie in one word, BORING, the concept sounds cool, but it just made it not interesting. The CG is awful, some of the worst I have ever seen, it even makes the Hulk from the 2003 movie look like the Hulk from "the Avengers", Jeff Bridges keeps doing that annoying western-style voice and gets old real quick, and the movie is REALLY predictable that you can guess what happens next. Little tidbit, my stepfather even to this day considers this to be the worst movie he has seen in theaters. Either way you look at it, "R.I.P.D." is more like S.H.I.T.

And the #1 Worst Movie of 2013 is.....

InAPPropriate Comedy

Behold, a movie so bad that it manages to be worse than "Movie 43"! A movie so bad, that even assholes would enjoy it more. The movie attempts to be funny, but ends up just being repetitive, racist, sexist, and jut flat out mean-spirited. And when I say repetitive, I mean repetitive, because the sketches in this movie repeat themselves and they get worse every time. Vince Offer, I hope you don't make anymore movies like this, because you just might end up there with Uwe Boll as the worst director ever.

Dishonorable Mentions:
Rapture-palooza
the Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Pain & Gain
the Purge
Spring Breakers
Planes

And now we move on the "Eh..." movies of 2013. "Eh..." meaning I just thought these movies were just "Ok", and I have seen 2 movies this year that are on that scale.

Eh....

#5. the Hangover Part III

Now as a finale to the Hangover Trilogy, it's ok, but plot wise, it's better than Part II. But much like Part II, it's still not as good as the first movie. The problem I have with this movie is that it doesn't really feel like a Hangover movie, it feels more like an action movie than anything, sure there are jokes involved, but still it's just not as raunchy.

#4. Carrie

 As an adaptation of Stephen King's acclaimed novel and as a remake to Brian De Palma's '70's horror classic, it just goes out as ok to me. Chloe Grace-Moretz played a pretty good intimidating Carrie, but I just think she's just too pretty to be Carrie, Julianne Moore is flat out perfect playing Margret White as she is both creepy and threatening. The effects are 50/50, some of the characters are just bland and uninteresting and there are some disturbing images in it. But otherwise, it's just an average movie, but if I see that poster of her staring at my soul one more time, I'll have nightmares for weeks....

#3. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

If you don't know me, know this, I am a huge fan of Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson & the Olympians" book series and I thought the 2010 film adaptation of "the Lightning Thief" was ok but nowhere near as good as the book. This movie however, is better than the first movie, but much like it's predecessor, it's still not as good as the book. The effects are decent and some elements from the book are present, but the characters again like in the first movie are bland compared to their literary counterparts and pacing is a little too fast. But on the whole, it's a harmless movie, nothing more, nothing less.

#2. Insidious: Chapter 2

As a sequel to the first movie, it's not as scary as the first movie, but it is interesting. We get more backstory on the ghost as well as the old demon woman from the first movie. And much like "the Conjuring", the scenery is creepy and disturbing as well as having the characters from the original still being likeable. If you're a fan of the first or looking for a interesting scary movie, I suggest renting it at your local Redbox.




And the #1. Ehh... Movie of 2013 is....


the Lone Ranger

Ok, let me make one thing perfectly clear, I like this movie. While there are some good things in this movie such as Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer's chemistry as Tonto and Lone Ranger, as well as pulling off good performances, the sets and effects are pretty good, and the ending action scene, while overblown is really exhilarating and spectacular, the movie does have some major problems. One example is the run time, I really wish some parts would be cut out, and some scenes go on for too long. And at times, the movie kept reminding me of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" films, considering this was done by the same team. But even if the movie has problems I consider it more of a guilty pleasure.

Well, that's it for the Good, the Bad and the Ehh... of 2013, now in the style of AniMat and even Tstarr, I will give my thoughts on some of the movies coming out this year,and it could be possible I might not see all of these.

Paranormal Activity: the Marked Ones- Uhhh......
Ride Along- Looks funny
the Nut Job- *Groans*
Devil's Due- Hell no.
I, Frankenstein- Ehh...
the LEGO Movie- Worth a look.
Robocop- Looks good.
Welcome to Yesterday- Maybe...
300: Rise of an Empire- Could be good.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman- Looks cute.
Muppets Most Wanted- Looks good.
Divergent- Might work.
Noah- Might be good.
Captain America: the Winter Soldier- Hyped.
the Amazing Spider-Man 2- Looks awesome.
Neighbors- Looks hilarious
Godzilla- Awesome.
X-Men: Days of Future Past- Looking forward to it.
Maleficent- Ehh...
A Million Ways to Die In the West- Gonna be good.
22 Jump Street- *Crosses fingers* Please don't rehash the first movie...
How to Train Your Dragon 2- Yes!
the Purge 2- Rushed much?
Transformers: Age of Extinction- Might see..
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- Hyped.
Planes: Fire and Rescue- Are you serious?
Guardians of the Galaxy- Worth a look.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Might see..(You heard me)
the Expendables 3- Oh yeah!
the Boxtrolls- Interesting.
Paranormal Activity 5- No thank you.
Big Hero 6- Might be good..
Dumb and Dumber To- Yes!
Horrible Bosses 2- Please don't suck!
the Hobbit: There and Back Again- Looking forward to.
Annie- Hmm...

Here's to 2014, I'm Clayton and prepare for Hollywood to pay the price WE had to pay! 

Clayton vs. Scary MoVie

NOTE: The following review was written April 15th, 2013. The review went missing and was just recovered today.




............................................................... Most know my intro.......I am really disappointed today.........to see a franchise that I am mixed with, being degenerated like THIS. If you haven't guessed, I am reviewing "Scary Movie 5" or as the poster/advertisements/and movie calls it "Scary MoVie". Now, first here are my thoughts on the four films leading to this.

"Scary Movie"- Of all the modern spoof films, this one at least have some really funny moments, but I'll admit the jokes at times can go really over the top and at times nasty. Not a bad spoof.

"Scary Movie 2"- Not one of my favorites. The jokes just got more juvenile and more nasty. Fun fact this movie almost got an NC-17 until it had to be cut for an R rating. The original cut came in the VHS and DVD copies.

"Scary Movie 3"- Better than 2, the jokes are hit and miss, but for a sub-par comedy, it isn't too bad.

"Scary Movie 4"- My personal favorite, it was pretty funny, again jokes are hit and miss, but it's actucally not bad.

Now, onto this......"Scary MoVie".........this one was BAD. I mean this one is the worst of the Scary Movie films, I mean better than the Seltzerberg spoofs, but in Scary Movie standards this one is bad.
The plot in this one is that it's mainly a parody of "Mama" (PS I never saw it, don't know if I will) as Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex adopt Charlie Sheen's kids after his death by Lindsay Lohan, but as they bring the kids home, some quote, unquote "Paranormal Activity" begins to happen at their residence. And shenanigans ensue. Now, there is barely a thing I found that I liked in this movie, the only jokes I laughed at are ones involving the vaccum and i'll admit the Sinister/Honey Boo Boo joke was kinda funny. But now I will address the problems I have with this movie.

What I didn't like about this movie:
First, I miss Anna Faris. Now, let me say, I have no problem with Ashley Tisdale, she is very attractive and talented, but here, she is very dry and kind of dull. Anna has at least a wide-eyed and somewhat curious personality to her performance, Ashley is again, just dry. It just seems like they were trying to make the next Anna Faris. Next, the jokes just fall flat, now I will say that even the other Scary Movie films have jokes that fall flat, but in this one, they make no sense. I mean I can understand them poking fun of "Paranormal Activity" and maybe even "Mama", but some make fun of movies that came out 3-to-4 years ago, like "Black Swan", "Inception" or even "Rise of the Planet of the Apes", hell, they even poke fun of the recent remake of "Evil Dead" (haven't seen it yet) and that came out LAST WEEK! That just felt like a last minute add-on in the movie. And frankly, that's all I gotta say about this movie!

Final thoughts:
Overall, "Scary MoVie" may be better than the Seltzerberg parodies, but it is the worst of the Scary Movie films. The jokes aren't funny, the parodies make no sense and it is a complete waste of talent. Heck, even "A Haunted House" was even a better "Scary Movie 5" than this movie, and that was actually funny! This might end up on my worst of the year.

Rating:
A VERY LOW Recommendation. Avoid this movie even if you are a fan of the "Scary Movie" fan,

Stay tuned for my next review, I hope the movie is better than this....this is Clayton saying, I'm glad this movie bombed.

Clayton vs. Iron Man 3

NOTE: The following is written on the night of May 5th, 2013 at 10:45 p.m.

Hey guys, Clayton here and it's time for a recent movie review. And this time, it's my most anticipated movie of 2013! The begininng of Phase 2 of Marvel's Cinematic Universe, the first lead up movie to 2015's "the Avengers 2", and the continuation of Tony Stark's story, "Iron Man 3" (or as its spelled in the credits/title card, "Iron Man Three"). The plot is that it takes place after the events of last year's "the Avengers", Tony's still traumatized after the events, is faced with his perfect life being torn apart after challenging a terrorist known as the Mandarin by, I'm not kidding, giving out his address to him! Anyway, after doing a stupid move like that, Tony begins a journey of rebuilding and retribution. Now, what are my thoughts on my most hyped film of the year?  Well, let me start first by letting you know of what I thought of the previous Iron Man movies.

Iron Man- A great kick off to Phase 1 and a really entertaining superhero movie in general
Iron Man 2- While the weakest of the Phase 1 movies, it's a pretty fun sequel, though not as great as the first.

And now on to "Iron Man 3", it accually lived up to my expectations and a good start for Phase 2, now I will explain what I liked and didn't like.

What I like about the movie:
The positives I had with the first two were the acting and action sequences, and in this movie, the characters are fully developed and the action sequences are high-flying fun. I also liked the tone with this movie, it's definitely the darkest of the three (in similar fashion to Toy Story 3, LotR: Return of the King) and for the subject material in the movie, it works while still retaining Marvel's comic book-like atmosphere. It's also the funniest of all of them as they contain some of the funniest lines in any Marvel film, plus Stan Lee's cameo in this one acually surprised me. I also enjoyed the twists and turns the movie has especially when Tony uses the Mark 43 suit. And my thoughts on the whole controversy about the Mandarin, I actually didn't see that twist coming. I understand why they were disappointed with the twist, but the reason why I'm not all fanboy rage about it, is because to tell you the truth, I never read any of the Iron Man comics growing up (I was more of a Incredible Hulk/Spider-Man guy). But to give credit, I didn't see it coming.


What I didn't like about the movie:
But to be fair about the Mandarin controversy, it really kind of took me off after reading about the character, I mean, from what I've heard, the Mandarin is this friggin awesome terrorist, but I'm not saying the twist is bad, it just took me off a little. Plus, a small nitpick, but if you're planning on staying after the credits just like the other Marvel movies, don't give your hopes up, but to fair it was also funny.



Final thoughts:
Overall, "Iron Man 3" is better than "Iron Man 2" and up to par with the first movie. If you love the other Marvel movies, you'll love this movie. And now I await for "Thor: the Dark World".

Rating: A high recommendation. Check it out now!

Well, that does it for my review of "Iron Man 3", stay tuned for my next review, this is Clayton saying prepare for Hollywood to pay the price we HAD to pay!

the Worst Movies of All Time (With Special Guests)

Hey guys, Clayton, here and today is a very special post. I have asked fellow friends and even Internet movie critics thier honest opinion on what is the worst movies they ever saw, followed by an image of them destroying said film in a creative way. Just a little note, this is inspired by YouTuber DainelLaux42992's video of the same name as this post, and I will say if he sees this, thanks for the inspiration of this post. Anyway, let's get started!

Clayton

"For me personally, I have two. Because it's hard for me to distinguish between the two which is worse. And they are 'Son of the Mask' and 'the Devil Inside'. 'Son of the Mask', wow, of all the Jim Carrey sequels not starring Jim Carrey, this one's probably the worst, it has very unlikeable characters, the acting is awful especially Jamie Kennedy who sounds like he's whining all the time, the jokes all fall flat, and the effects make ImageMovers Digital look like Pixar in comparisson. What a way to discourage a great comedy like 'the Mask'. I already explained my issues with 'the Devil Inside' on My Worst of 2012 post, but I will summarize,  the problems it suffers from is bad acting that makes 'Freddy's Dead: the Final Nightmare' look Oscar worthy, it tries WAY too hard to be scary to the point of ridiculousness and the ending is a big middle finger to the audience. If you want a good found footage movie, stick to 'Cloverfield' or 'Chronicle'."




Robert H.

"There hasn't been one movie that has made me more angry than 'the Last Airbender'. First off the acting is all either bland or wooden, particullary Noah Ringer as Aang, and over the top like Dev Patel as Prince Zuko, the martial arts/element-bending looks more like ballet, and the effects look more cheap than a SyFy movie. Take my advice and watch the cartoon rather than the movie."





Brandon

"One movie or at least movie series that makes me cringe is 'the Twilight Saga', more in particular, 'New Moon', why? Because throughout the entire movie NOTHING HAPPENS. But the other complaints are what many others say, such as it's boring, the acting is all flat, and it gives vampires a bad name."


Brody

"One movie that I hate has got to be 'Flash Gordon'. Now, I know some people like this movie, but I don't, the actors are all pretty bad, the effects and sets all look fake and the entire movie is just cheesy."


Cameron

"The worst movie I have ever seen has got to be 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn-Part 1'. i know that's cliche but this one is the worst. First off, the characters are all awful (especially Edward and Bella), and for the entire movie NOTHING HAPPENS. I know that nothing happens in 'New Moon' as well, but this one is just worse. Bottom line, skip this one."


the Hardcore Kid/Headbanger142

"Mine would have to be 'Disaster Movie'. I was unfortunate to watch it while I was on vacation in St Maartan and it was so incredibly unfunny and forced. Of course, that's Seltzerberg for ya."



Perfect-10/perfect10reviews

"'Fred: The Movie'. It's incredibly annoying (so annoying that it LITERALLY brought me to the point of nausea), it has no story, every character is thoroughly unlikeable, and the movie sends some terrible messages to really young children (there's a scene that, if it had cuss words in it it would basically be Superbad). No film has ever left me as thoroughly enraged as that one did."




AniMat/ElectricDragon505

"Believe it or not, my pick isn't an animated film. I think it's hands down 'Bratz: The Movie'. Terrible concept, writing with -10% sense, idiotic acting, atrosious songs, EVERYTHING ABOUT IT WANTS ME TO SHOOT ALL THAT AND WHO IS INVOLVED WITH THIS SCUM!!!!!!! For more details on my thoughts, look at my video of the Top 10 Worst Films Based on a Cartoon :P"



Media Hunter/IsaacTales2

"Well if you have to ask...the worst movie I can consider anyway would be...'Space Chimps 2'.
As a sequel it just comes off as unnecessary and pointless; it goes as far as to break a lot of continuity and breaks so much logic and sense in things in order to make the story even happen. Not only that but the characters come off as even more unlikable than the first movie, the animation is even worse than before to the point where it just seems lazy, it's just a very unpleasant movie. I did a whole review of it so you would know just how much pain this movie brought me."

the Blockbuster Buster/ERod Blockbuster Buster

"'Southland Tales'
cause like the sirens of the greek mythology I was lured in by the beautiful, sultry and alluring Sarah Michelle Gellar. Only to find that there is no real movie, there is no plot, and that the lovely Sarah is merely one of many distractions from the painful fact that what I was watching is unintelligible shit that should never be viewed by the eyes of mortal men."





The Media Murderer/DahThirdBestEditor

"I can have the worst movie I've ever seen in 3 categories.
If I had to say the worst one I reviewed, I'd say 'Inspector Gadget 2'. That movie was a pain in my ass.
If I had to pick the worst one I ever saw in a movie theater, I'd go with 'Project X'. (I labeled it as the second worst on my video, but I didn't see 'Piranha' in theaters.)
If I had to go with worst overall, I'd say either 'Garbage Pail Kids' or 'Batman and Robin'. (I actually never saw those films, but I saw well done reviews on them, so I know enough about them.)"


Fightingleaf

"Without a doubt 'the Smurfs Movie' qualifies for both the worst movie I've ever reviewed as well as the worst movie I've ever made myself endure ('Birdemic' doesn't count). The biggest problem with it was a similar problem that I had with the 'Yogi Bear' movie: the concept just doesn't fit in today's standards of story-telling. Specifically, the movie just felt like every detail of it was made for no other reason than to exploit a property and that property's audience. The only good parts about it, Hank Azaria's Gargamel, while excellent, did nothing to counteract the aneurism-inducing Smurf talk. But I'm just recapping my review of it right now."



Joey Tadesco/Cartoon Palooza/drexelboi1991

"'The Cat in the Hat.' I have no clue who and what that movie was aiming for. None of the jokes worked, none of the characters had anything admirable, and the messages are convoluted. I don't think you could go any lower that that movie."



WhyBoy/Cartoon Corner/TaylorwyattWhyboy

"The Worst Movie at this point I've seen is 'Tentacolino', the sequel to 'The Legend of The Titanic'. Simply because it's offensive to the memory of those who died, the colour palette is sickeningly bright, the "story" and characters are boring and finally there's a 2 second scene that pops up out of nowhere where a giant fat rat in a diaper sexually assaults a much smaller nurse mouse as she says "No. Don't." This is why 'Tentacolino' is the worst movie I've seen period."



Jacob Beck/Cinematic Nutcase

"What I find annoying is that the ones I'm thinking of are ones everyone else has beaten to death. 'Revenge of the Fallen' was one of those cinematic experiences where I was pleading for the film to just cut to black and let me go home. I dislike how it seems like it wants to take itself seriously, like it's some big grandiose epic, but then still throws in immature, unfunny jokes. It's tonally inconsistent, is what I'm saying.
It's also way too long for what it is. If a movie is going to be that long, it has to try really hard to keep my attention. But action alone does not get me invested, I have to care about the characters in order to care about the action, and the characters aren't really that engaging or likable. So yeah, that's basically it, though considering how many movies I still haven't seen, there's bound to be something worse waiting for me."


Morgan Leger/TimeWarrior90

"By far the worst movie I have ever seen to date was Andrei Konchalovsky's 'The Nutcracker in 3D'. Better known on the DVD releases as 'The Nutcracker: The Untold Story'. And honestly, I wish this tale was untold. Elle Fanning feels cold and distant as Mary who receives a Nutcracker from her Uncle Albert (Nathan Lane) who constantly sings about how everything is relative. Uncle Albert even does the look of Einstein and tries to act as some sort of mentor but barley makes an impact other than his baffling appearance. As the movie goes forth on a snail's pace, Mary's new toy comes to life with the form of Napoleon (seriously, what is with the choice in taking historical figures not everyone will connect with?) and takes her on a perilous journey that acts like a paint by numbers kid's movie combined with a strange 'Alice in Wonderland'/'Wizard of Oz' drug trip. Also tossed into the mix is the famous Tchaikovsky score which is the only positive thing I could think of but not when its covered up by awful song lyrics written strangely by 'Lion King''s Tim Rice. What could have been a decent cheery Christmas flick turns into a sugar plum fairy's nightmare. The constant dark color palette, the unintended scary imagery, and most insulting of all the idea of passing it off as a bright holiday flick. This movie is stuffed with creepy Nutcrackers, poor CGI that feels rendered from the Xbox, and John Turturro as a Rat King that belts out sour notes while leading a squad of Nazi Rats. That's right, Nazi rats. This movie is so low that it actually has its villains take the quality of a fascism race. To top it off, the master plan is to block out the sun by steal the kid's toys and using them as fire fuel to achieve such an absurd concept. Again, did I mention this is a Christmas movie? Something that was supposed to be joyous and wholesome. There are films that have at least shown the sour view of the holiday like 'A Christmas Story' but not to the point of feeling mean spirited. This is a step beyond mean spirited. This is the stuff bad movies and worst films combined are made of. But the cherry on this disastrous tour de force is that this was director Andrei Konchalovsky's dream project for a good 20 years! And if within those 20 years he didn't change a thing or even try to second think about the many story elements that went into this terrifying adaptation, I wouldn't be surprised."

DanielLaux42992 (The guy who inspired me to do this blog)

"In my personal opinion, the worst movie I have ever seen is 'Baby Geniuses'. There are many reasons why I dislike this movie. For starters, the established universe of the film makes no sense (one example is how they establish babies are born geniuses, & yet at a certain point they just 'stop' being geniuses. What?) Secondly, the story itself is really stupid & stuffed with hundreds of overdone cliches. Third, the jokes were just terrible. Fourth, the visual effects were also terrible. Finally, the film wastes such great talent on their choices of actors, as well as their director (whose previous credits include 'A Christmas Story'). Overall, I found this movie absolutely terrible, & you'll be much happier if you skipped it."


That Movie-Nut/SavageBroadcast

"Well, normally I don't actively seek out bad films, but of the ones I've seen thus far, and I've have seen quite a few, the ones that got under my skin the most have to be 'Soul Plane (2006)' & 'Birth (2004)'. I would have thrown in the 1996 version of 'Island of Dr Moreau', but considering how troubled a production it had, it would feel like picking on a weak child if were to go this far with it.

Now for the reasons:

'Soul Plane' - What decade did the film makers think we were in?! Blaxploitation died out many years ago, and in that time, many talented black actors & directors have come forward and made a difference. This is a film, on the other hand, that seeks to turn that clock back. Every single black stereotype is here, from drug users to sex animals to ghetto folk, even down to eating fried chicken. With that, you can guess what caliber of 'joke' we are dealing with, and when you do actually laugh, you then wonder right after 'wait, that wasn't funny. That was just stupid.'. Couple that with the most generic hip-hop laden soundtrack, direction that is non-existent and slack so everything looks cheap and actors who bring nothing but obnoxious gurning and screeching, and you have a veritable cocktail of suck.

'Birth'- From the director of 'Sexy Beast' comes a story about a woman who starts to believe that her dead husband has been reincarnated as a 10 year old boy. A premise like this has great potential AND... what happened?! Aside from a brief scene with a psychologist, the film makes no effort to explore, either mystically or scientifically, how this event is possible or explicable, which is a huge waste of creative potential (compare to say, Fearless, which look at the issue of death and near-death from both a psychological, everyday and religious viewpoint, in order to give us a broad picture of the effects of the condition.) Add to that, the kid is overplayed as creepy, taking even further away from the believability and realism, and speaks in a distant monotone that doesn't help either (and again, very little about how this kid can prove he was the husband is explored, save for a brief moment about the couch he and the wife once had sex on). Mix that in with indifferent performances from a more than capable cast (including Nicole Kidman and Lauren Bacall), moments that are creepy and unsettling for the sake of it, with very little intellectual weight behind them (they are not better than jump-scares or gore in a horror film), and a constantly desaturated grayish look to the film, even when scenes are not sad or depressing, and you have the textbook definition of 'wasted potential'.

That what's I have to say. MOVIE-NUT out."

Wow. What a lot of bad movies we've seen here! Well folks, this was just a little blog I wanted to do, I want to thank everyone who participated, especially the Internet critics who helped out, thanks to DanielLaux42992 for inspiring me to do this special blog, and thanks to all who read this blog. Stay tuned as I will review my most anticipated movie of the year, "Iron Man 3". I'm Clayton, and....well after all these movies, it looks like they made Hollywood pay the price. Peace.


Links to the reviewers who took part in this blog:
Hardcore Kid- youtube.com/user/Headbanger142
                        blip.tv/the-hardcore-kid
Perfect-10- youtube.com/user/perfect10reviews
Animat- youtube.com/feed/UCxP5OANXyoTlm0B2W0lvZaQ
             blip.tv/animation-lookback
Media Hunter- youtube.com/user/IsaacTales2
                        blip.tv/media-hunter
Blockbuster Buster- youtube.com/user/ERod2010
                                blip.tv/the-blockbuster-buster
Media Murderer- youtube.com/user/dahthirdbesteditor
Fightingleaf- youtube.com/user/fightingleaf
Joey Tadesco- youtube.com/user/drexelboi1991
                        thatfellowinthecoat.com/cartoonpalooza.php
Cartoon Corner- youtube.com/user/TaylorwyattWhyboy/
                           blip.tv/cartooncorner
Cinematic Nutcase- youtube.com/user/weirdaljedifan2
                               blip.tv/ncbnutcase
Morgan Leger- youtube.com/user/TimeWarrior90
                         blip.tv/vaulting
DanielLaux42992- youtube.com/user/DanielLaux42992
Movie-Nut- youtube.com/user/SavageBroadcast

Clayton vs. Oz: the Great and Powerful

Hey guys, Clayton here and it's time for a recent movie review. Let's start with some backstory first; in the year 1900, author L. Frank Baum published the book "the Wonderful Wizard of Oz", the story of a young girl named Dorothy who gets wisked away by a tornado to the land of Oz where she journeys to see the Wizard of the land with her friends to return home. The book was widely praised and inspired other fantasy writers. Baum also wrote 13 more books based on the land of Oz, such as "Marvelous Land of Oz" and "Ozma of Oz", and the book is also subject to the 1939 classic starring Judy Garland, in which most of us saw as children and still loved to this day. At some point, Disney tried to make an Oz movie with an unoffical sequel released in 1985 called "Return to Oz", which was much faithful to the book and is much darker than the classic 1939 movie, but the movie bombed big time at the box office and critics were mixed or hated. And now it's 2013 and Disney is going to try once again and this time they hired "Evil Dead" and "Spider-Man" director Sam Raimi to helm the project. And now, it's time to review the movie, "Oz: the Great and Powerful". The plot of the movie is that tells the origin of how the Wizard of Oz became...well, the Wizard of Oz and also, how the Witches came to be. Now, some of you know that this movie is my number 4 most anticipated movie of 2013 and did it live up to my expectations? The answer is yes. Not only is this pretty darn good, it's actually one of the best prequels since "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom".

What I like in the movie:
One of the things I enjoyed of the movie is the wide cast of characters, James Franco as Oscar Diggs, aka Oz, was really believeable in his role, Zach Braff (of Scrubs fame) was really enjoyable and funny as the monkey sidekick Finley, and the one that steals the show was Joey King as the Little China Girl, this character's backstory is very tragic and actually made me shed a tear a bit, plus, the character is enjoyable and fun. Also, a little note, one of my favorite actors, Bruce Campbell, makes a very short yet very funny cameo near the climax. Next, the visuals and effects are very astounding and beautiful bringing us back to that classic world of Oz. I also love the transition from black and white 4:3 aspect ratio in the beginning and to beautiful Technicolor and widescreen throughout te rest of the movie. Plus, I love the idea of the origins of Thedora aka the Wicked Witch of the West played by the incredibly talented and sexy Mila Kunis. And finally, I love some of the clever nods to the future Oz characters such as the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow.

What I didn't like in the movie:
If there's one thing to complain about the movie is of the characters of the Witches of Oz, now don't get me wrong, the actresses (Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz) do an alright job, but their characters aren't really that developed with the exception of Thedora.

Final thoughts:
"Oz: the Great and Powerful" is acually, well, great. The story is very relateable and very touching, some characters get very good development, the actors are hit and miss, and the visuals and effects are beautiful. If you love the classic 1939 movie and the books, give this movie a view and prepare to return to the land of Oz.

Rating: A high recommendation; go see it!

Stay tuned next time, where I ask fellow friends and even reviewers what is the Worst Movies they have ever seen in their lives. Plus, Superfail Month will come soon, I'm sorry it hasn't came yet, I've been getting lazy. I'm Clayton and prepare for Hollywood to pay the price we HAD to pay.

Clayton vs. A Haunted House

Hey guys, Clayton here, and it's time for a recent movie review. This time we're taking a look at the spoof comedy known as "A Haunted House" starring comedian Marlon Wayans who co-created the Scary Movie series. Ok, well, according to Marlon, "it's not exactly a parody" and that it's funny characters doing the opposite of what typical white people will do. Does that sound somewhat racist? Never mind, let's go to the plot. The plot is that a young couple Keisha and Malcolm move into a nice looking house when it turns out there is a paranormal entity haunting the facility, and now they must find a way to get rid of it. Now, what are my thoughts? Well, I will admit, this movie is funny, better than the Seltzerberg comedies, but at times the jokes are hit and miss. Let me explain...

What I like about the movie:
What I liked about this movie were some of the jokes. Yes, some of them are hit and miss but manage to get a laugh out of you. In some way it reminds me of the first two Scary Movie films in some way due to the very dirty and raunchy humor. I especially love the parody of the scene from "the Devil Inside", making fun of that piece of crap put a smile on my face.

What I didn't like about the movie:
The problem I had with the movie is that some of the jokes can be too offensive. If MSkull01 can point out the Hardcore Kid making gay jokes, then this movie makes HK's gay jokes look like an act of kindness, because this movie does take it a bit too far. Plus, there's also some racist jokes in the mix so if you get offended easily, I wouldn't recommend it to any one.

Final verdict:
"A Haunted House" may be hit and miss at some points, but the movie as a whole is a pretty funny parody that brings back the days of Keenan Ivory Wayans' Scary Movie 1 and 2. But I will admit, it's not for everyone, if you like parodies, you might like this movie, if not, then you won't like it.

Rating: A medium recommendation: See it if you want to.

Well, that was my review of "A Haunted House", stay tuned for Superfail Month where I take a look at Ang Lee's gamma-bomb, "Hulk". I'm Clayton and prepare for Hollywood to pay the price we HAD to pay.

the Top 13 Films I Forgot to Put in the "Top 13 Most Anticipated Films of 2013"

Hey, guys, Clayton here. And today, I'm here to talk about the movies I forgot to put on the Top 13 Most Anticipated Films of 2013. These are the movies that slipped my mind that I forgot to put them on the list. Now, the movies won't be in any particular order there just in there. So anyway, let's begin.

The Hangover: Part III


Good Lord, why did I forget to mention this? And now for those who don't know, I really love the first Hangover movie and I think it's one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. The sequel....was a mixed bag. I will admit, it's not as good as the first movie but I will also admit it has some funny moments. Let's hope that Part III will fix the mistakes of Part II and give the series a good conclusion. Wolfpack unite!

Despicable Me 2


Get ready for a lot of sequels on this list, folks, there's some in this list. Now, Despicable Me was a big surprise for me in 2010. At first, I thought it was going to be a stupid family film, but now, I really enjoy the movie. Now, there is no detail on the plot but we could be expecting more laughs and more Minion mayhem.

Star Trek Into Darkness


I'm not really a big Star Trek fan, but I did enjoy J.J. Abrams' reboot of the Star Trek franchise. And from the look of the trailer, this one ought to be bigger and possibly more epic than the first.

the Great Gatsby


Based on the F. Scott Fitzgerald book of the same name, the movie was expected to be released last year on Christmas, but now it will be released in May. Considering the ouvere of Baz Luhrmann, let's hope he does the book justice.

Fast and the Furious 6


For some who saw my Best Films of 2011, I really loved "Fast Five", now with Fast and the Furious 6 now on its way, we will hope for more cars, more action and more races.

Much Ado About Nothing


Based on the William Shakespheare's story, not only am I excited because it is based on Shakespheare's work, and features great actors such as Nathan Fillion, the director and writer of this movie is Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the director/writer of one of my best of last year and one of my favorite movies, "The Avengers" and soon "the Avengers 2". Let's hope this will be another good adaptation Joss can do.

World War Z


Boy, not only are there sequels on this list, but also movies based on works of literature, this particular movie is based on the Max Brooks book and is expected to be an epic battle with the undead.

Pacific Rim


"Hellboy" creator Guillermo del Toro comes back with a movie featuring giant robots battling monsters and looks to be a battle for the ages.

the Wolverine

After the dull mediocraty that was "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", Marvel is attempting to make a new and awesome origin to one of the best X-Men characters of all time. Let's just pray this movie will be better than "X-Men Origins".

This Is the End


The directing debut of Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen looks to be a very funny and very apocolyptic comedy. Also, the movie might possibly have a big assemble of celebrities that could probably be a funny cameo or a big role.

Insidious Chapter 2


For those who didn't know, I personally thought the first "Insidious" was...actually one of the scariest movies I have ever seen in my life. I have been seeing casting calls on YouTube for the movie and who knows who will make it there. Who knows if this will scarier than the first or not.

Anchorman: the Legend Continues


Will Ferrell's most famous role is coming back for another news report. And so far what we got is a really funny teaser trailer and if you're a fan of Ron Burgandy and his crew, we might hope for the best.

and finally...

Saving Mr. Banks


A movie about the life of P.L. Travers and about the making of "Mary Poppins" plus, also featuring the first ever portrayl of one of my inspirations, Walter Elias Disney, played by none other than one of my favorite actors, Tom Hanks. We'll see how the movie will be when it hits theaters near Christmas.

And that's my top 13 films I forgot to put in my last list. I hope ya'll enjoyed it, and if I missed out one movie, I apologize. Anyway, stay tuned for the start of Superfail month, where I take a look at superhero movies that have been claimed to be bad. And also, important announcement, stay tuned for the upcoming blog called "Clayton vs. YouTube" where I take on either bad YouTubers and bad videos. Anyway, this is Clayton saying prepare for Hollywood to pay the price we HAD to pay.