Clayton's the Good, the Bad, and the Eh... of 2013

Hey guys, Clayton here and after a brief hiatus due to work, graduation and stuff, it's now time to do the annual best and worst movies of 2013. And just a heads up for everyone, I didn't see every movie this year, so some movies like "42", "Captain Philips", "12 Years a Slave", and even "the Hunger Games: Catching Fire" will not be on the list.Also, these movies are all OPINION BASED, if you don't like what I put on the good, bad or eh..., that's fine, more power to you, but keep in mind, this is just my opinion.  So with that said, let's start with the good. 

The Good:

#17. Kick-Ass 2

As a fan of the first "Kick-Ass", I honestly can't say whether this is better, on par or not as good as the original. While there are some moments where it can get too dark, harsh and mean-spirited, I still think the movie is alot of fun. I like the development they give to Hit Girl and I do like the problems that her and Kick-Ass come across. While it maybe too harsh, it's still a violent fun movie.


#16. Oz: the Great and Powerful

This prequel to the L. Frank Baum's classic books directed by "Spider-Man"'s Sam Raimi takes the audience back to our childhoods by recreating the feel and style of the classic movie. James Franco is pretty decent as Oz, Joey King is really good as the China Girl and I did enjoy the development given to Theodora, the Wicked Witch of the West showing how she became the villain we all know. It may not be the best prequel, but hey, at least it's better than "the Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.... *shudder*

#15. the Heat

For a buddy-cop movie, I will say it may not be as hilarious as "Hot Fuzz", but it's pretty close. Some jokes hit and some miss, but the performances from Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy are both really hilarious.

#14. Evil Dead

Of all the horror remakes that came out, this one is the best since Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead". While some complain that most of the characters, except for Mia, are forgettable and bland, well, in the original, most of the cast, except for Bruce Campbell's Ash, are the same way. And most complain that it doesn't have the humor that made "Evil Dead" work, for me, it's trying to recapture what Sam Raimi had intended for the original, to be, as the poster says, "the most terrifying film you will ever experience", and boy, does it deliver. This movie is pretty damn frightening and what makes it work is the impressive camera work and practical effects, no CG. But as scary as this movie is, #13 is actually the scariest movie of the year....

#13. the Conjuring

James Wan, to me, has now became this generation's Wes Craven, he has created a movie that even surpassed his previous movie, "Insidious", as the scariest movie I have ever seen in my life, and that's due to the creepy tone, feeling like a '70's horror movie ala "Exorcist". The acting is pretty good, the scares are legitimate nightmare fuel, the music helps out as well, and the scary thing is about it, is that all of this is based on the true case files of Ed and Lorraine Warren. I'm not kidding, look it up, even the real Lorraine Warren and Anna Peron say the movie is faithful to what happened. It's so scary, it had to be true.

#12. the Wolverine

Everyone's favorite X-Men member is back with a vengeance. This movie blows the abysmal "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" out of the water with some coherent action scenes, some good character development and some build up to the upcoming "X-Men: Days of Future Past". So, if you're looking for a pretty fun comic book movie, this is for you.

#11. This Is The End/ We're the Millers/ Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

I decided to put these three together because it was hard to decide which was the funniest of the three.

"This Is The End" takes a concept of the apocalypse predicted in Revelation and not only take a dark comedic turn but taking it as seriously as it should. The actors do a pretty good job making fun of themselves, some jokes hit and some miss, and this movie has quite possibly one of the best endings to any movie this year. If you enjoy cinematic meta humor, you'll enjoy it.

"We're the Millers", to me, is like the Robin Williams movie, "RV", but actually pretty good and really hilarious. Jason Sudiekis is really funny in his dialogue and delivery, the kid who was Eustace in  "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" was the most hilarious of them all, and Jennifer Aniston is pretty good in her role, and actually, she's kinda hot, same with Emma Roberts. Ed Helms plays the perfect asshole aside from his role as Stu in "the Hangover".

"Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa" is a good addition to the Jackass legacy as it is a really hilarious hidden camera movie. What's really funny is that this all takes place in real time and most people are confused about what happens and their reactions are pretty hilarious. The makeup effects on Johnny Knoxville are pretty convincing to show him as an old man, the kid he's with is really funny and it has alot of heart to it. But overall, these three movies are worth a look for a good laugh.

#10. Man of Steel

Producer Christopher Nolan and director Zack Snyder bring their take on an American icon in a sort of new way. While it does suffer from some problems such as shoddy camerawork, the way they tell his origin out of order, and an overblown ending, I still think of this as a pretty good movie, even if some think otherwise. Henry Cavill, I think plays a convincing Superman, Amy Adams is a pretty good Lois Lane, but gets a little bland near the middle of the movie, and Zod, I prefer Terrance Stamp over Michael Shannon, honestly, he was more like Willem Dafoe when he played Green Goblin in "Spider-Man". But for those who think otherwise, I can see where you guys are coming from and I understand why some will hate the movie (and don't get me started on Confused Matthew's review....). Love or hate, let's see if Superman vs. Batman will improve or not on the new take on the Man of Steel.

#9. World War Z

Even though I haven't read the book this was based on, this movie makes me want to. This movie is really intense, really action packed, and at points, pretty scary. Brad Pitt pulls of a pretty good performance and is really likeable as guy who will risk everything to find a cure and get back to his family. The zombies are the most frightening I have seen since "28 Days Later" as if one person gets bitten and they quickly turn into infected zombies. If you're looking for a really intense ride, this and #1 will be worth a look.


#8. the Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug

The adventure continues for Bilbo Baggins as this one happens to be a major improvement over "An Unexpected Journey" as this one has a much more going on, and while some parts are slow, it's what many expect from the first Hobbit. Smaug proves to be one of the most badass memorable villains of the year, the rest of the characters are still as likeable and badass, and yes, the movie ends on a cliffhanger. Well, let's wait for that finale next year...

#7. Monsters University/ Despicable Me 2

Both of these animated films, much like #11, are hard to choose, because both are pretty good.

"Monsters University" is Pixar's comeback after the terrible reception of "Cars 2" and the so-so reception of "Brave". The animation, as always, is excellent, the characters from the original "Monsters Inc." are still as likeable as they were, and the new characters are fun. My main problem with the movie is that the story is a little unoriginal and I will admit, the ending is a little depressing, but ends on a happy note.

"Despicable Me 2" is a pretty funny and pretty cute sequel that, to me, is on par with the first movie. Gru is still as likeable and gets much more development this time around, Lucy is actually pretty funny alongside him and the Minions are still as hilarious as they were before.

#6. Iron Man 3/ Thor: the Dark World

Marvel strikes back against D.C. with a double hit with two of their most well known heroes.

"Iron Man 3", despite some problems, is a really fun sequel, with one of Marvel's best stories since the first Iron Man. Tony Stark gets some major development after the events of "the Avengers" and gives him alot to go through. Some people might get pissed about the Mandarin twist, but I really didn't care, I didn't see it coming.

"Thor: the Dark World" may not have the human side of the first, but it's still a really entertaining movie. Chris Hemsworth is still a really badass Thor, Tom Hiddleston is still despicably badass as Loki and the action sequences are really fun. With these movies starting of Phase 2, I can't wait to see what Marvel has up for 2014.

#5. Pacific Rim

"Hellboy" director Guillermo del Toro brings us quite possibly the most entertaining spectacle of the year. This movie is like a cross between Transformers and Toho, and it plays a great tribute to them with some pretty badass action set pieces and amazing special effects on both the robots and the monsters. Even though it can be pretty cheesy and some characters are a little bland, but that's part of the fun. If there's ever a movie about checking your brain out the door to enjoy, I dare say it's the perfect one.

#4. Saving Mr. Banks

While there are some problems, most notably the ending, this movie is one of the best live action Disney movies out there. The story is somewhat accurate to the events during the making of "Mary Poppins", the script is really well written and emotional, and especially the acting is fantastic. Emma Thompson is great as P.L. Travers playing a likeable bitter woman, Jason Schwartzman and B.J. Novak are pretty good as the Sherman Brothers and my biggest surprise was Tom Hanks as Walter Elias Disney. He may not look or sound like him, but he still captured the charm, charisma and mannerisms of Uncle Walt himself. If you're a Disney fan or not, you'll enjoy this movie.

#3. Frozen

Disney is at it again as they deliver another great animated fairy tale reminiscent of "Tangled". The story is actually a pretty good one, involving more on the relationship of sisters, the animation is still good 3D Disney animation, the characters are really likeable and really feel the emotional weight of Elsa, and the ending is one of the saddest in Disney history. Keep up the good work, Disney, the new Renaissance is still going strong.

#2. the World's End

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are back to bring us this hilarious finale to their Cornetto trilogy, "the World's End". Much like the previous Cornetto movies ("Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz"), this movie has a great premise, some clever jokes, really likeable characters and greatly choreographed action scenes. Now some people might think that Simon Pegg's character, Gary King, is unlikeable, but he's basically the reverse role that he shares with co-star Nick Frost. Like in "Shaun of the Dead", Pegg was always the smart one who you don't mess with and Frost was kind of a screw-up, in this movie, it's the reverse. But if that doesn't bother you, then I see no reason to hate a big finale to a big trilogy.

And the #1 Best Movie of 2013 is...

Gravity

Holy crap, this is one REALLY intense movie. Sandra Bullock, I smell another Oscar nomination for you, because you really feel the emotion that she goes through as the movie is more like an experience as you get what it's like being stuck in space. You really root for her as you really want her to get back down to Earth. George Clooney is also pretty good in his role as a professional astronaut that tries to help her out of space. The special effects are really good and the scariest thing about this movie is this that if you're an astronaut, this could possibly happen out in space. A fair warning to those who see it, there are some scenes in here that could possibly cause heart attacks, I'm not saying that I don't recommend the movie, I'm just worried about your safety. But if you manage to see it, by all means, go see it, it's an experience worth watching.

Honorable Mentions:
Drew: The Man Behind the Poster
White House Down
Anchorman 2: the Legend Continues
Mama
the Last Stand
Snitch
Prisoners
Warm Bodies
the Great Gatsby

And now, here we go, we move on to the worst movies of the year. Be afraid, be VERY afraid....


The Bad:

#10. Free Birds

How do you take a really retarded concept such as time-traveling turkeys? Make it as convoluted as it sounds. While I will admit, some characters are likeable and the animation is pretty good, but the story and even the ending is so stupid that it would take all night to explain. Just wait to rent this for your kids, and maybe you'll enjoy it, maybe you won't, but I certainly didn't.

#9. Walking with Dinosaurs: the Movie

How do you possibly make a movie that makes Disney's "Dinosaur" look like "Jurassic Park" in comparison? While "Dinosaur" had good animation, the problem with that movie is that it was boring, "Walking with Dinosaurs" has good animation, but, the main problem is that it is straight up ANNOYING and the characters never SHUT UP. Why must all family films about dinosaurs have to have them talk? (NOTE: "Land Before Time" is great.) It's a good thing this movie bombed, just stick with the "Walking with Dinosaurs" mini-series.

#8. the Smurfs 2

How do you make a sequel to a 2011 cash-grab? Make an even worse sequel. The characters are either stupid, annoying, or unlikeable, the jokes are degrading and the storyline is dumbed down for kids. Also, the sad thing is, this is Jonathan Winter's last movie due to his tragic death, and now he has joined the legacy of some actors such as Raul Julia in "Street Fighter". The reason this and #9 and 10 are low is because these movies are targeted at a younger audience, but as Doug Walker said, "Just because your target audience is kids isn't an excuse not to try."

#7. The Last Exorcism Part II

I'm going to be quite honest I will make this one quite short because I haven't seen the first "Last Exorcism". But this movie is just flat out boring, uninteresting and pretty much everything we've seen in exorcism movies. It may not be as horrendous as "the Devil Inside", but it's just a bad horror movie.

#6. the Host

So, the past 5 years we saw Stephanie Meyer destroy the dignity of vampires and werewolves, now she gave aliens her personal touch. What else can I say about this movie is that it's just Twilight with aliens, but mostly, it's just as bad, or even worse than the Twilight movies.

And these movies are scratching the surface, now we move to the bottom 5....

#5. Scary Movie V

Coming from someone who has mixed feelings over the "Scary Movie" franchise, this one I can say is that this is the worst one of the series. The jokes almost fall into Seltzerburg level as some are jut juvenile or nasty, the cast is not as energetic a the previous films and I hate repeating myself, but it just wasn't funny. If some people say either the "Pirates of the Caribbean" or "Paranormal Activity" series should retire, put this series on the list, or parodies in general.

#4. 21 & Over

Geez, and people say "Project X" is bad. This movie is basically what everyone says about "Project X", and I'm the guy who liked "Project X". The jokes are nowhere near present, the characters are either dull, unlikeable and just plain mean-spirited that you wouldn't care what happens, it's offensive and the drama is just flat out terrible. I swear this movie makes "Hangover: Part III" look like, well, the first "Hangover".

#3. Movie 43

Oh, boy, another crappy comedy. I hope this year isn't full of them like last year. And this one has recently been known as one of the worst movies of all time, and boy ain't that the truth. It's a sketch comedy that is just not funny, but straight up offensive. Dealing with jokes such as racism, incest, and other things that wouldn't be funny. And many more I wish I could talk about, but Richard Roeper said it best, it is the "Citizen Kane of awful".

#2. R.I.P.D.: Rest In Piece Department

What happens when you take a concept like Men in Black and combine it with Ghostbusters? You get this piece of crap. I haven't read the comics this was based on, and after seeing this movie, I probably might not. I can describe the movie in one word, BORING, the concept sounds cool, but it just made it not interesting. The CG is awful, some of the worst I have ever seen, it even makes the Hulk from the 2003 movie look like the Hulk from "the Avengers", Jeff Bridges keeps doing that annoying western-style voice and gets old real quick, and the movie is REALLY predictable that you can guess what happens next. Little tidbit, my stepfather even to this day considers this to be the worst movie he has seen in theaters. Either way you look at it, "R.I.P.D." is more like S.H.I.T.

And the #1 Worst Movie of 2013 is.....

InAPPropriate Comedy

Behold, a movie so bad that it manages to be worse than "Movie 43"! A movie so bad, that even assholes would enjoy it more. The movie attempts to be funny, but ends up just being repetitive, racist, sexist, and jut flat out mean-spirited. And when I say repetitive, I mean repetitive, because the sketches in this movie repeat themselves and they get worse every time. Vince Offer, I hope you don't make anymore movies like this, because you just might end up there with Uwe Boll as the worst director ever.

Dishonorable Mentions:
Rapture-palooza
the Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Pain & Gain
the Purge
Spring Breakers
Planes

And now we move on the "Eh..." movies of 2013. "Eh..." meaning I just thought these movies were just "Ok", and I have seen 2 movies this year that are on that scale.

Eh....

#5. the Hangover Part III

Now as a finale to the Hangover Trilogy, it's ok, but plot wise, it's better than Part II. But much like Part II, it's still not as good as the first movie. The problem I have with this movie is that it doesn't really feel like a Hangover movie, it feels more like an action movie than anything, sure there are jokes involved, but still it's just not as raunchy.

#4. Carrie

 As an adaptation of Stephen King's acclaimed novel and as a remake to Brian De Palma's '70's horror classic, it just goes out as ok to me. Chloe Grace-Moretz played a pretty good intimidating Carrie, but I just think she's just too pretty to be Carrie, Julianne Moore is flat out perfect playing Margret White as she is both creepy and threatening. The effects are 50/50, some of the characters are just bland and uninteresting and there are some disturbing images in it. But otherwise, it's just an average movie, but if I see that poster of her staring at my soul one more time, I'll have nightmares for weeks....

#3. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

If you don't know me, know this, I am a huge fan of Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson & the Olympians" book series and I thought the 2010 film adaptation of "the Lightning Thief" was ok but nowhere near as good as the book. This movie however, is better than the first movie, but much like it's predecessor, it's still not as good as the book. The effects are decent and some elements from the book are present, but the characters again like in the first movie are bland compared to their literary counterparts and pacing is a little too fast. But on the whole, it's a harmless movie, nothing more, nothing less.

#2. Insidious: Chapter 2

As a sequel to the first movie, it's not as scary as the first movie, but it is interesting. We get more backstory on the ghost as well as the old demon woman from the first movie. And much like "the Conjuring", the scenery is creepy and disturbing as well as having the characters from the original still being likeable. If you're a fan of the first or looking for a interesting scary movie, I suggest renting it at your local Redbox.




And the #1. Ehh... Movie of 2013 is....


the Lone Ranger

Ok, let me make one thing perfectly clear, I like this movie. While there are some good things in this movie such as Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer's chemistry as Tonto and Lone Ranger, as well as pulling off good performances, the sets and effects are pretty good, and the ending action scene, while overblown is really exhilarating and spectacular, the movie does have some major problems. One example is the run time, I really wish some parts would be cut out, and some scenes go on for too long. And at times, the movie kept reminding me of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" films, considering this was done by the same team. But even if the movie has problems I consider it more of a guilty pleasure.

Well, that's it for the Good, the Bad and the Ehh... of 2013, now in the style of AniMat and even Tstarr, I will give my thoughts on some of the movies coming out this year,and it could be possible I might not see all of these.

Paranormal Activity: the Marked Ones- Uhhh......
Ride Along- Looks funny
the Nut Job- *Groans*
Devil's Due- Hell no.
I, Frankenstein- Ehh...
the LEGO Movie- Worth a look.
Robocop- Looks good.
Welcome to Yesterday- Maybe...
300: Rise of an Empire- Could be good.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman- Looks cute.
Muppets Most Wanted- Looks good.
Divergent- Might work.
Noah- Might be good.
Captain America: the Winter Soldier- Hyped.
the Amazing Spider-Man 2- Looks awesome.
Neighbors- Looks hilarious
Godzilla- Awesome.
X-Men: Days of Future Past- Looking forward to it.
Maleficent- Ehh...
A Million Ways to Die In the West- Gonna be good.
22 Jump Street- *Crosses fingers* Please don't rehash the first movie...
How to Train Your Dragon 2- Yes!
the Purge 2- Rushed much?
Transformers: Age of Extinction- Might see..
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- Hyped.
Planes: Fire and Rescue- Are you serious?
Guardians of the Galaxy- Worth a look.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Might see..(You heard me)
the Expendables 3- Oh yeah!
the Boxtrolls- Interesting.
Paranormal Activity 5- No thank you.
Big Hero 6- Might be good..
Dumb and Dumber To- Yes!
Horrible Bosses 2- Please don't suck!
the Hobbit: There and Back Again- Looking forward to.
Annie- Hmm...

Here's to 2014, I'm Clayton and prepare for Hollywood to pay the price WE had to pay!